>All this time the metaphor I have used to describe my life is of feeling like a leaf caught in an eddy behind a rock in a river.
The metaphor of my life as current in a greater river is incorrect to this extent – a more accurate description would be of a stream leaping and tumbling downhill. So if I am not a leaf in an eddy behind a rock, then why this feeling of stagnation ? Of not moving ? Of swirling around and around and thrashing about, but never going anywhere ??
And then I realised – I haven’t been stuck in an eddy – I’ve been FORMING A POND. Humming and teeming with bugs and green slime and iridescent with life and fecund beauty. Full of small whiskery creatures who call me “Mummy”, and with dragonflies and birds darting over my waters, and rushes fringing my banks.
All this time I thought I was lost, I was right here, filling with life.
I wrote in March that, “Now I am waiting for the lightning strike that will galvanise all that lurking creativity into some new, fabulous life.
I have literally been in the mush, and am now gathering my strength ready to emerge dripping, with the gobbets of my old life slipping off my newly emergent wings.
Tomorrow really may be that day in which I finally start living as I mean to go on.”
Well, the lightening has struck 😀 and here I am FINALLY living as I mean to go on !